Battlefield...Fuck Ya!

Game: Battlefield 3

System: PC, PS3, Xbox 360

Release: October 2011

Battlefield 3 is an excellent single player experience. I'd write about the multiplayer and co-op, but EA denies free access to this content if you do not purchase a new copy. I sincerely hope this policy backfires on EA. Odds are if you rent or buy used, you don't have a ton of cash to be spending on games. How likely is the consumer to purchase on-line access to one game? Especially when Modern Warfare 3 is about to be released. 

Gamefly, however, appears to be working on the issue and is offering free on-line passes. According to an email I received the code should be arriving within the week. 

Any who, as I was saying, BF3 is a great single player experience. The games plot feels like a blend of Black Ops and Modern Warfare, but the gameplay is a more realistic approach not found in Call of Duty. The franchise continues to provide insane combat scenarios featuring a variety of vehicles. There is a fighter jet and tank segment that are like nothing I've ever seen in a first-person shooter. The graphics are top notch, and the gameplay is much smoother then the Bad Company games. EA and DICE vividly illustrate that Call of Duty is not the only military shooter worth playing. 

The main protagonist is a Sgt. Blackburn, but players will take on the roles of other characters throughout the campaign. B.burn is introduced to us under arrest which sets up the basic flashback plot device--see Black Ops. As he's interrogated the pieces slowly come together. Nukes end up missing, commands are questioned, unlikely allies are made, and it all ends on a train to Time Square. 

Warning Spoilers Ahead....

BF3 has many impressive cinematic moments that build upon the classic Modern Warfare death scene. A solider from the tank campaign is captured and executed. Players witness the atrocity from the perspective of the captive. The bright light blinds you from behind the camera as your head is forced back before the knife slits your throat. Later B.burn comes across the room where the US soldier was executed. The whole sequence of events is very entertaining, and more detailed then what I've seen in the Call of Duty franchise. 

The other two segments worth mentioning are the levels set in France and New York. Playing as a Russian you storm through the streets of Paris in an attempt to find a bomb. The level weaves you around populated streets, and the action is very intense. The developers did an excellent job capturing the thrill of the chase. Sure having a nuke go off is cliche at this point, but it was well done and made since within the game. 

The same can be said in regards to the New York level. You are chasing the villains starting on foot, then on a train, and finally in a car. Fantastic! This time around the cliche is saving the day--looks like Paris is the only city to be nuked. Add to these cinematic moments the vehicles segments, and you have the top of line military shooter. (Of course that all can change next week with the release of Modern Warfare 3.)

BF3 has everything you could possibly want from a first person shooter. There are awesome vehicles, intense battles, a great single player, and a host of multiplayer modes. Snerts Snazzy Score is Full Price! for fans of the series, and On Sale! for shooter aficionados.

Cake for Two

Game: Portal 2

System: PC, Xbox 360, PS3


Release: April 2011

Portal 2, and the original, brings thinking to the first person shooter. A puzzle game at heart that succeeds where others have failed--I'm looking at you Mirror's Edge. The run n' gun formula is set aside, but Valve keeps the Half-Life universe. Players are given a portal gun. It fires two connected way-points that are used to solve various puzzles and eventually escape your prison aka Aperture Laboratories.

Portal 1 was a quick side project that was tossed out to the masses. A two hour jog through a series of test chambers guided by a sadistically  sarcastic AI named GLaDOS. It was an excellent experience that I highly recommend. The game is currently free on Steam and was apart of the Orange Box package on Xbox 360.

The sequel expands the lore and offers a co-op experience like no other. The campaign continues the story of the human Chell--destroyer of GLaDOS. She awakes to Wheatly the robot ball instructing her not to die. He wants to replace the rebooted GLaDOS, and does so with the help of Chell. Of course Wheatly is a dumb-ass and betrays you. Thrown into a vent you and GLaDOS--now hooked up to a potato--discover the original Aperture Laboratories.

J.K. Simmons--aka awesome actor--plays Cave Johnson the founder of all this crazy shit. His recorded instructions lead you through the old school facility with some hilarity. Eventually you return to Wheatly, kick his ass via lunar shenanigans, and return GLaDOS to her former self. Ya ya nerd purest. I left some details out. Can't spoil everything after all.

Gameplay is enhanced with goo. Specifically goo that increases your speed, is bouncy, or smears surfaces white for portal usage. There is also gravity tread mills and light bridges that can act like shields. Add to this the portal gun, and you have a fantastic variety of puzzle based entertainment.

Not impressed? Well how about co-op! That's right. P-body and Atlas are on the case. They do GLaDOS's biding, solve puzzles, and annoy said GLaDOS with human mannerisms. To enjoy this feature I highly recommend starting with a rookie from the get go. Nothing worse then being dragged through a game by someone who's been there before.

Portal 2 is an excellent game. All signs point to Full Price! Yet I'm hesitant to recommend such a purchase. Yes free DLC is on the way, but the puzzles loose their entertainment value quickly. Already knowing the answer to the test hinders the joy found in the journey. Snerts Snazzy Score is On Sale!

Detect This!

Game: L.A. Noire

System: PS3, Xbox 360, PC

Release: May 2011

Rockstar's claim to fame is the Grand Theft Auto series. It generated the buzz and the bucks that transforms a studio into something legendary. Recently the developer has stepped out from their safety bubble with hits like Red Dead Redemption and more recently L.A. Noire. Fans have gone from the wild west to the wild--geez that's fucked up--streets of post WWII Los Angeles.

L.A. Noire is a unique game. Do not expect the typical experience, but anticipate Rockstar's uncanny ability to tell a good story. Some gameplay features are of the cut and paste variety. Players will run, gun,  drive, and take cover. The meat of the game, however, lies in its interrogation system.

Colen Phelps (fans of Mad Men will recognize the actor Aaron Station) spends most of his time gathering clues and interviewing P.O.I's (people of interest). During questioning the player often has to decide if a character is lying, in doubt, or telling the truth. To illustrate their intent Rockstar has developed a fantastic motion capture system that portrays the actors expressions vividly. Liars will dart their eyes back and forth. If they're a pro, then their tell will be more subtle like the biting of a lip. It's an effective original system that is both fun and challenging.

Too bad the same can' t be said for finding clues. Ever play Zelda: Ocarina of Time? Of course you have. Recall the groundbreaking rumble pack? Why wouldn't you? Remember the feature where secrets would make said rumble pack do its thing? Uh, maybe? If the answer is yes, then you have already experienced the clue discovery system of L.A. Noire. Walk around the crime scene and wait for that sweet sweet vibration. Then if you aren't too tuckered out press the A button (or X for those PS3 chaps) and move the analog stick around and around. Volia you have just found a clue.

Rockstar also provides the typical open world filler. There are secret cars and landmarks to discover, and random acts of violence that must be stopped. After all street crime must be kept to a minimal. Some of the crime scenarios and secret cars are fun. They weren't, however, worth going out of your way for.

I can really appreciate Rockstar's first attempt at the detective thriller. The writing and acting were solid. The game was fun and original. I really enjoyed the combination of run & gun with interrogation. I'd also be lying if I didn't mention my appreciation for the setting and attention to detail. Snerts Snazzy Score is On Sale! Find the game on the cheap so you can afford the DLC content. I'm personally jealous of anyone who's gone through Refer Madness.

Flawless Victory!

Game: Mortal Kombat

System: Xbox 360, PS3

Release: April 2011


Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter II are the fighting games of my childhood. Sure there are others, but these two series captured the largest share of my attention. Street Fighter has denoted consistent quality over the years, but the same cannot be said for Mortal Kombat.

The ninth tittle in the series returns Mortal Kombat to its roots. Focusing on the lore of the first three games the developers tighten up some of the loose ends, provide entertaining game modes, and a solid overall presentation.

The most engaging segment in Mortal Kombat is the story mode. The segways are all live-action cinematics, which is a welcome change of pace from storyboard method found in BlazBlue. The player experiences an alternate history that covers the first three games.  It all reminded me of a B movie. There is action, cheesy dialogue, and just a touch of drama. Different playable characters are assigned to each chapter--Johnny Cage is Chapter 1, Sonya is Chapter 2, etc.--which helps with the pacing. By the end, players will use many of the characters, and experience a tale that formerly spanned three games.

A plethora of other modes are available for those not interested in plot. The standards of the series are all present: Arcade Mode, Test Your Might, Versus, On-line play, etc. There is also a challenge mode that pits the player against a slew of unique fights and mini-games. One moment you'll be in a tag match with Johnny Cage and his director. The next you'll be fighting off zombies by rapidly performing projectile attacks. It's a nice add-on to your typical fighter. Of course, all of the above are for unlockables that range from concept art and alternate costumes to additional finishing moves.

All of the above is presented in gut wrenching graphics and goosebump producing sound. In the first Mortal Kombat a fatality ripping out the heart was blurry at best. A red circle that came out of someones chest. The most recent addition to the franchise depicts how far graphics have developed. The heart Kano rips out is now beating with detailed segments of the heart. Add to this detailed sound depicting each action, and you have good reason to prevent young children from playing this violent game. Environments all share a great level of detail. Sometimes the background action is just as intense as the main fight, and I often found myself being pleasantly distracted.

Solid presentation, multiple entertaining game modes, and a decent plot. Pinch me people because I think I'm dreaming. Fans of the series will be in bloody heaven, and fighter veterans will enjoy the variety--MK doesn't feel like another Street Fighter clone. Snerts Snazzy Score grants Mortal Kombat the rating On Sale!--upgraded to Full Price for die hard fans.

Potty-mouth

Game: Bulletstrom

System: Xbox 360, PS3, PC

Release: February 2011

Warning: The following contains an obscene amount of curse words. Previously, I've typed the occasional fuck, but for fucks sake this is a lot of fucking curse words. I apologize to any of my loyal readers who may be offended--fucking wankers.

Dick, shit, cock, fuck, ass, balls pretty much sums up Bulletstorm. It's an homage to my childhood days of immature jokes and hours of first-peni...errr...person shooters. 

Epic roles out a game reaming with ridiculous kills and Big Fucking Gun's. Every gun has an alt fire overkill mode which adds some flair to your standard arsenal. My favorite toy was the Flail Gun. Take two grenades and connect them with a chain. Load into the launcher, aim, and fire. Before you know bad guys are hopping mad before they go boom. Another weapon is a drill-spear gun that impales foes with ease and twirls them round and round like a fucking ferris wheel. 

If guns don't do it for ya, then try kicking grunts into cacti, or using the whip mechanic to throw them off a ledge. All the death variety serves a purpose. You score points for doing unique kills that unlock additional upgrades. The list was pretty long, and the gaming lords know I won't finish it. Still, I'm sure some completionist out there has. So kudos to that prick.

Driving the carnage is your stereotypical revenge/bromance. Mike...er..Gray Hunt and Ishi Sato are the last of their crew after a suicide attack by the former. He gave the orders to attack a really big ship because he was pissed drunk and pissed off. Apparently General Sarrano is a big asshole, and Gray is just the dick to fuck him for good. Ishi gets to become a border line psychotic cyborg, and the female role played by Trishka cements the fact that no one is gay--despite the copious use of the word "dick." Things go wrong, then right, then back to wrong, and before you know it everything is dead. Throw on a teaser for the next game and call it a day. 

Multiplayer sucks ass because EA hates renters. Those who want to experience Buletstorms MP must buy the game new to obtain a code. If you don't have this code, then you must pay to play. Honestly with so many quality FPS games out there--Halo Reach, Black Ops, MW2, L4D2, Battlefield--I hardly see the need to fork over more money. 

All things considered Bulletstorm is a fun game. I enjoyed the guns and the killing reward system. The plot wasn't the worse thing I've ever witnessed, nor was it amazing. The environments were dam gorgeous, but the enemies were boring bitches. The immature characters and dialog doesn't help the game either (nor does it help this review). It's just another additional to the FPS genre that few will probably care to play. Snerts Snazzy Score is Gamefly--especially for shooter fans. Rent, play, and get all those penis puns out of your system. 

Nickeled and Dimed

The source of my rant:

EA is attempting to make some extra cash from the used-game market. Customers are required to enter a one time code to access multiplayer content. For those who don't have the code they must pay to play. Why does this bug me? I rent. Specifically I rent from Gamefly. I happen to enjoy their services, and have had no major issues. I was most displeased when I discovered Bulletstorm's MP was not accessible. I pay for Xbox Live (well not lately I've been using up the free passes from old games). I pay for Gamefly, and all the other items necessary to play games. Why do I have to pay for multiplayer in EA tittles? 

I continue to find the overall cost of games rising steadily. Buy new hardware to experience motion controls, 3D, and music like gaming. These new features can sky rocket the price of modern home entertainment system, but they are only the big ticket items. 

DLC content continues to change the landscape of released tittles. Map packs in FPS tittles take precedent in on-line play, and divide the have's from the have-not's. Ranging from $10 to $15 per DLC the cost of a game can go up to $100 fast. For RPG's, story arcs are expanded, and players are encouraged to buy expansion packs. If they don't, then they'll be behind once the next full game is released. These additions can cost up to $40, and this doesn't include any in-game items you choose to buy. All of this must have merchandise does add/enhance the gaming experience, but the price of admission is often not worth it. 

If studios and publishers are so desperate for cash, then why don't they look towards advertising. There is vast amounts of empty space in games that can be utilized for ads. Load screens are the easy example. Do you really need the hints? Especially for long running franchises like Halo and Call of Duty--grenades kill, cover protects, bad guys die from taking damage etc. etc. etc. Throw up a quick 7-11 or McDonald's logo next to the hints, or go all the way with a quick commercial. Load screens are usually fifteen to thirty seconds long, which is plenty of time for a fast word from our sponsors. Tittle updates can replace the commercials if needed. This idea can also be applied to intro and tittle screens. 

Games are already seeing advertisements slip into certain genres. Billboards in racing games are a great reference for expanding ads in other areas. The key is to make the ads noticeable, but not overbearing. Gamers will be hesitant to accept advertisements and it is important not to distract from the entertainment factor. Ads should be in areas that do not inhibit gameplay, or ruin a cinematic moment. This is why I suggest load screens, or other areas that are not in-game.

Will there be backlash? Yes of course there will. People also dislike ads in movies and television, yet they still exist. People will not stop buying games because of advertisement. Just like they won't stop buying games because of the price of DLC or multiplayer. 

Ideally I would love to see two options develop--ads or bills. Gamers can be billed and see no ads like many internet subscriptions. Or they can tolerate advertisements in their games. Both are granted full access to a game, which after-all is what this rant was originally all about. 

Cowboys Rule

Game: Red Dead Redemption

System: Xbox 360, PS3

Release: May 2010

Red Dead Redemption is one of the best games I have played this year. Rockstar's team in San Diego does an excellent job. Their presentation of the dieing American West is unique and surprisingly accurate. The influences from older Western movies is obvious, but the solid writing, character development, and visuals set this game apart. There is also great multiplayer action, and zombie DLC to add on more hours of fun

Multiplayer is a blast. Players begin in a Free Roam session with a mule and a six shooter. Team up with other players, by making a posse, to take on objective missions. There are also team based games, but if you want to be a dick, you can just shoot anyone who looks at you funny. Collect money to unlock better equipment and other goodies. I didn't play as much MP as I did SP, but what I did experience was very reminiscent to Diablo II. Meet up and kill enemy AI. Just no loot or wizards.

Single player was dominated by strong writing, beautiful landscapes, and the lasso. The writing developed fascinating characters, and the plot was unique to the video game industry. Players take on the role of John Marston. He used to be a Robin Hood of sorts. A member of a gang that supposedly robbed from the rich to give to the poor. Well some of the other members went crazy. John tried to run away and start anew, but that darn pesky no good Federal Government decided to make a reunion of sorts. They kidnapped his family, and blackmailed him into killing his former gang. Now John does what these bastards ask, but in the end...well I don't want to spoil it.

Gameplay is what you would expect from a Rockstar game. The cover system works very similar to that of GTA IV. Horses handle different then cars, and there are fun things like bullet time and lassos. The former is overpowered. There is so much time to line up dozens of shots in bullet time that it almost seems unfair to the poor stupid AI. The lasso is my favorite weapon. Run up to anyone you want. On foot or on horse lasso that mofo and drag them through the streets. Hogtie criminals that rob stores to watch the owners kick the crap out of them. The lasso put more smiles on this face then any other aspect of Red Dead.

The last thing worth mentioning are the eye popping visuals. The character models are not much better then the GTA's, but the landscape is fantastic. Huge vast spaces to explore. Mountains, rivers, plants, animals, the stars, and the moon will keep you wandering around this game world for hours. There were some minor visual issues with level of detail popping and the occasional horse impersonating an ostrich. Unfortunately with a game this large it appears such issues are an industry norm.

Many have dubbed this epic cowboy adventure as a mere GTA clone. They are absolutely positively correct. The brilliant part is the game feels different then any of the GTA games. Horses, lassos, and an bullet time ad just enough gameplay elements to make it few new. The fantastic writing and change in scenery produce an entire different world to explore that seems vastly larger then any city. Red Dead Redemption will keep you entertained for months on end. Multiplyaer, DLC, and a solid 15 hour single player campaign is worth the Full Price of admission. Now go on out there partner and rustle up some fun.

MOH

Game: Medal Of Honor

System: Xbox 360, PS3, PC

Release: October 2010

I have played through the campaign on normal, and attempted two levels of Tier 1 (a hardcore SP mode). I have also played some multiplayer, but not enough to make a valid critique.

Medal of Honor. A series that sparked the World War II craze in the first person shooter genre. A franchise that started with such promise yet fell far behind the giants: Call of Duty and Halo. Now EA is attempting to reboot the series by telling the story of a modern conflict. The developers at EALA are very proud of the campaign story (MP was done by DICE studios), and the realistic depiction of the current war in Afghanistan. Did they succeed? Will this title be the rebirth of Medal of Honor, or will it become the final nail in the coffin?

The single player experience is well done. The graphics are at times breathtaking. The action is intense, and the narrative illustrates the inter-dependencies of different military units in the field. Players will take the role of Army Rangers, Special Ops, and Apache Helicopter pilots through a two day battle. The environment is historical deadly with many invading armies failing to survive the local resistance. There is the classic ignorant and brash General in D.C. barking orders that endanger the lives of soldiers on the ground. Lives are lost on both sides, but in the end the Americans seem to have won the day. The story of these soldiers was believable and executed with respect for the men who serve (there were no women in this story). This was a welcomed alternative to the over the top Cold War wet dream of Russia invading the United States.

Gameplay has it's ups and downs. I enjoyed the ability to slide into cover, but the “peak” button was particularly useless. It is very difficult to hold down the left trigger (Iron Sight) and left bumper (Peak) at the same time. Peak also halted all movement, which makes you a sitting duck during a gun fight. All of the weapons worked well, but none of them stood out. I loved the helicopter level, but driving around on a four wheeler felt like boring filler. I never felt like I wouldn't make it, or that the enemy was truly overwhelming. Many areas felt like a carnival shooting gallery. Just keep killing the ducks and targets then press on to the next area.

I enjoyed the overall experience of Medal of Honor. The story was entertaining, and the gameplay was decent. If you like realistic military shooters--I'm looking at you Tom Clancy fans--then check it out. Under the new Snazzy Snerts System, Medal of Honor falls under the category of Gamefly! Rent it. Play it. Forget about it.

A Decade of Bungie

Game: Halo: Reach

System: Xbox 360

Release: September 2009

EPIC!

Halo: Reach is the last game in the franchise developed by Bungie. In 2001, one of the best independent studios released Halo: Combat Evolved. Since then there has been Halo 2, Halo 3, and Halo: ODST. Each successor added new features and a new story, but they all felt very similar. Halo Reach, however, is an entirely new experience unlike any FPS on the market. Bungie utilized the best from games like Unreal Tournament, Tribes, Call of Duty, and of course older Halo's. The end product is a well polished game with hours upon hours of fun content.

Halo Reach is divided up into three game modes: Campaign, Firefight, and Multiplayer. All three can be played on or off line. They also come with a ton of options to customize your experience as you see fit.

Snerts in action!

The Campaign tells the story of Noble Team a group of Spartans on Reach. Any fan of the Halo universe knows Reach is a doomed planet. The Covenant destroys Reach and leaves few survivors as they make their way towards Earth. Knowing that the ending wouldn't be happy gave the game an Empire's Strikes Back feeling. The colors are more subtle with less bloom effects. The characters display a sense of desperation as the invading aliens decimate their planet. By the end just about everyone you have met dies. Bungie also does a great job of tying Noble's story to the events in Halo 1-3. Finally they break up the FPS action with a few turret rail gun segments, and a outer space dog fight mission that is reminiscent of the N64 game Rogue Squadron.


Like previous Campaigns, there are dozens of options to keep things fresh. Skulls from Halo 3 make a return, and so does Scoring Mode. These features, however, are nothing compared to what Firefight has to offer. (Firefight is a cooperative game mode where a team fights wave after wave of enemy AI.) You can customize just about everything for this cooperative game type. You can tweak: damage output, shields, health, weapons, infinite ammo, what enemies appear each wave, how the enemies appear, AI damage and shields, etc. etc. etc. I literally spent an hour just thumbing through all the options. I also enjoyed the different Firefight modes like Gruntpocalypse--all Grunts all the time. Firefight as sure come a long way since ODST.

Multiplayer is also full of new features. Most notably Invasion. This game mode pits Elites vs. Spartans. The objective is defense for the later, and offense for the former. There are three sections per round, and completing a section unlocks more load outs, weapons, and vehicles. The game ends when time runs out, or the Elites have completed all three objectives. This game mode is unlike anything I've seen before. It has all the chaos of a Big Team Battle with a hint of Assault and King of the Hill.

As I mentioned in my review of Halo Reach Beta, there are other new game modes like Headhunter and Stockpile. So far the additions have been very enjoyable, and supplement the traditional game modes nicely. The armor abilities, however, are what really distinguish Reach from other Halo's. Being able to sprint, use a jet back, become invisible or invincible, etc. adds a new layer to the tasty gameplay cake. Check out my Beta review for more details about armor abilities.

Rocket Hog FTW!

Do you think I'm done writing about new features? Well guess again buddy. Reach also has a leveling system that unlocks new armor for your Spartan. The system is cumulative, and is very similar to the recent Call of Duty tittles. The unlockables are for functionality and aesthetics. Some pieces will allow you to carry more ammo, health, or grenades.  In addition to armor you can unlock character voices for Firefight, and other surprises that I won't ruin in this review.

Halo: Reach is what fans of Halo: Combat Evolved have been waiting for. A truly new experience that feels more complete then the rehashes of Halo 2, 3, and ODST. Bungie has stepped their game up, and illustrated why they are one of the best FPS developers in the business. Reach has more game modes, features, and options then any other title on the market. Snerts Snazzy Score is a 6 out of 5---yes it's that good! So go ahead and buy yourself a copy. Then say goodbye to all non-gamer friends and family.

Xbox Live Turns 60

Sixty dollars American that is.

Today Microsoft announced the Xbox Live Gold membership will be seeing a price increase November 1st.

Why the hike? According to an email I was sent. "Over the past seven years, Xbox LIVE has evolved from an online gaming platform to an all-in-one gaming and entertainment service."

Old Xbox Live UI

Xbox Live has come a long way since the days of Return to Castle Wolfenstein and MechAssault. The service really didn't get much attention until Halo 2. Since then Netflixs, LasFM, Facebook, Twitter, and Xbox Live Arcade have been added to the Gold Member subscription. This is in addition to exclusive previews, demos, and access to on-line multiplayer. I cannot ding Microsoft for increasing the yearly price by ten dollars. That's not ridiculous from a business perspective. (Besides you can get the subscription at a reduce price via Newegg.com and Amazon.com.)

From a consumer point of view I have one concern. Advertising. Recently I became employed because of an ad firm. The ads on Xbox Live employees someone, and in this economy more jobs can't hurt. On the flip side I don't want to be bothered or bombarded with ads if I'm paying for a yearly subscription. I've seen a significant increase in advertisements, and I can easily imagine a Facebook like ad interface on Xbox Live.

Even Earthworm Jim likes Xbox Live.

The easy pipe dream solution. Allow for a free, or at least cheaper, Gold membership that plays commercials each time the system starts. Hell even throw it before the game boots. The ad revenue will supplement the subscription fee, and maybe even exceeded it.

I know one thing is for sure. I will end up paying for a Gold membership because I enjoy multiplayer. It's kinda of like a tax on each game I purchase, but it's worth it.

Call of Battlefield: Bad Duty 2

Game: Battlefield Bad Company 2

System: PC, Xbox 360, PS3

Release: March 2010



The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming! Hide for the hills because the Russians are coming!

Here we go again. A rag tag team of misfits take on a special ops mission that can turn the tide of the Russian Invasion. Along the way they are double crossed (bum bum baaaaa), and some friends are lost (nooooooo not the hippie). In the end, however, they save the day by watching each others back and making the player do all the work. The U.S. General comes out of left field (literally), and tells you "The Russians are coming. Through Alaska." Looks like we'll get another Bad Company game (shockingly disappointed).

The single player experience is pretty much the same as the first game. The characters fulfill their stereotypes. Some cool action occurs. A few areas will kill you over and over again. Nothing too exciting here, but a decent FPS experience.

Multiplayer is the bread and butter for the Battlefield series. There is everything you would expect. A limited number of maps, but each one is gigantic. Vehicles with horrible handling. Sniping and explosions. Oh and a melee systems that is unresponsive. Add to this mix destructible environments and you have a very unique package. There is also a leveling system that is used to unlock new weapons and equipment. Halo and CoD do not have destructible environments, and I believe that is one of the reasons this game has an on-line following.

The Battlefield series has been around for along time. It is known for large maps, vehicles, and sniping. The Bad Company series added destructible environments to the mix. There is a decent on-line following, but don't expect to be in full games on the five maps. The single player is action packed, and contains some humor. It is also boring, filled with cheap deaths, and the plot just keeps getting stupider. I'm not thrilled with the gameplay either. Everything feels clunky. This is yet another game I enjoyed only because I rented it from Gamefly. Snerts Snazzy Score grants Bad Company 2 a 4 out of 5.

Don't Be Scared!

Game: F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin

System: Xbox 360, PS3, PC

Release: February 2009


On the surface F.E.A.R. appears to be an excellent FPS franchise. There is bullet time, crazy guns, and spooky stuff. The gameplay is solid. The graphics are polished. The AI acts intelligent, and there is some environmental damage for shits and giggles. Yet whenever I play through a F.E.A.R. game I'm overcome with a sense of indifference. I'm knee deep in blood as some mystical bitch tears apart my squad and I just don't care. Some geek I've been tracking down gets his head ripped off, and I barely bat an eye. The ending cinematic for the sequel brought about a sense of joy because I could get the next title from my Gamefly account.

The single player game is fun. I enjoy the overpowered bullet time. The nail gun is back in all it's glory, and there is even an awesome disintegration gun. The armored mech segments are a good idea, and some of the scary moments gave me chills. Especially during the ghost sections where it is unclear who is a threat. The majority of plot points, however, are your typical set up. Teammates do something stupid. They die, and you have to push on despite the "tragic" losses. Some chick keeps barking orders, and in the end you impregnate a telekinetic super being? At least I think that's what the ending is all about.

Multiplayer....well I didn't even bother. Why waste my time on low population games when I still enjoy fantastic franchises like Halo, Call of Duty, and Left 4 Dead? DLC content keeps the big three fresh enough for me.

Should you play F.E.A.R.? Only if your a die hard FPS fan, or your in need of something a bit different during the summer lull. There really isn't anything special. Snerts Snazzy Score is a 3 out of 5.

I'm a Jumper Not a Fighter

Game: Prince of Persia

System: Xbox 360, PS3, PC

Release: December 2008


Prince of Persia is a franchise that dates back to 1989. A successful reboot of the series was accomplished by Ubisoft in 2003 with Sands of Time. That fantastic game is one of the best experiences available on the original Xbox, and Ubisoft has been attempting to capture that magic with a slew of crappy sequels.

Each Prince of Persia has the same set up. The main character is a prince with amazing acrobatic abilities. This triple AAA protagonist always seems to find himself in deadly scenarios that may or may not involve a female side kick, time manipulation, and magical villains. He will generally jump, skip, and stab his way through each adventure. The plot will either be brilliant yet generic or simply ridiculous.

The 2008 Prince of Persia (there has been a more recent release and movie earlier this year) attempts to reboot the series once more. The Prince finds himself lost in a desert. Surprise surprise a damsel in distress appears named Elika. He rescues her from some attackers, and discovers that she has magical powers. Elika pleads her case and seeks aide in restoring her kingdom that has been taken over by “the corruption.” A handful of jumps, skips, and stabs later the game ends.

I could go on about the crappy plot. How you never really care about anything, and just push on to jump and skip (stabbing is boring) to the next piece of beautiful landscape. Or how Elika shows a range of emotion akin to a fourteen year old drama queen. Or how I have never seen anything remotely close to Persian culture in regards to the characters. I could go on about all that, but that would just be silly.

Gameplay is where the fun is for Prince of Persia. Like Sands of Time the Prince performs a variety of acrobatic moves to navigate through deadly traps. Instead of time manipulation Elika provides a magical safety net to ensure the Prince never dies. This allows players to continue playing. A novel concept for video games. The designers knew that people would fail to make a particular jump so they put in a system to instantly warp them to a checkpoint. No load screens is a huge plus for any game, but especially for a tittle that is dependent on a smooth constant tempo.

Level design is what I would expect from the franchise. The Prince goes up. He goes down. He slides, dives, wall runs, and swings his way about. The graphical presentation is eye popping in a gorgeous cell shaded style. Levels are a bit more repetitive then other Prince of Persia games because of the overall path design. Players can go to any area from the start, which results in a bland difficulty curve. Rising action/challenge would have suited this game better.

Combat is not the strongest point for any Prince of Persia game, and the 2008 addition manages to be even more bland then past releases. You cannot die so no enemy is ever threatening. The combos are entertaining at first, but get old fast. Low level enemies have too little health, and boss fights drag on too long. Fighting is the most boring aspect of this game. Hardcore fans of the hack/slash genre are sure to be disappointed.

Prince of Persia is not a bad game, but does fall under that “Thank Goodness for Gamefly” category. Fans of the series and platforming will enjoy another adventure with the prince of jumps, skips, and stabs--even if the stabs are lackluster. Combat is boring, and the story stinks. Yet the presentations is stylistic and beautiful. The pacing is excellent thanks to the absence of load screens, and exploring this fantasy world is it’s own reward. Snerts Snazzy Score grants the 2008 Prince of Persia a 3.5 out of 5.

Late to the Fallout 3 Party

Game: Fallout 3

System: PS3, Xbox 360, PC

Release: October 2008


Fallout 3 is a great video game. Anyone who is a fan of the FPS or RPG genre will enjoy themselves. The game has been out for about two years. It has won many awards, and there are a ton of DLC packs. I'm not going to bother typing out words to praise the game further. Snerts Snazzy Score is a 5 out of 5, but I do have one complaint.

*Spoiler Alert:

Two of the best features Fallout 3 has to offer are story and immersion. You start off in your mothers womb, and finish following in your fathers footsteps (for those goodie goodies out there). The game world is huge, and I spent countless hours just exploring. In the end you have the cliche choice to sacrifice yourself, or convince someone else to do the deathly deed.

To purify post apocalyptic D.C.'s toxic water supply, save the lives of your comrades, and be an all round good dude you must enter a room containing lethal amounts of radiation. No matter what you do this act will kill you. I wouldn't have a problem with this deed if I wasn't traveling with a companion who could have withstood the radiation.
A few missions prior an intelligent Super Mutant named Fawkes aides you in a primary quest. The player is later given the option to have Fawkes accompany you on your journey. Fawkes is immune to radiation. If you do not have the DLC pack Brotherhood Steel, then you will not be able to convince Fawke to enter the radiated room.

This did not make sense, and ruined the ending of an otherwise fantastic story.

Doing What Vikings Do Best...Conquer!

Game: Viking Battle for Asgard

System: Xbox 360, PS3

Release: March 2008



Viking: Battle for Asgard is a game found in bargain bins priced under twenty bucks American. It did not sell well, and probably flew under the radar for many gamers. Now during the summer lull is a perfect time to revisit this open world hack n' slash game. It's cheap, and there is plenty of fun to be had.

Viking embraces Norse mythology for the setting and plot. The gods of Asgard are bickering, and of course mortals have to pay. The goddess Hel is pissed about her banishment. She raises an army of demons, and threatens to unleash the ancient god Fenrir. Why Fenrir? Cause he will bring about the apocalypse, or Ragnarok, that destroys Asgard.

Freya, the goddess of war, selects the main character Skarin as her mortal champion. Skarin's only desire is to be allowed entrance into Valhalla. (SPOILER) He defeats the Hel and her armies saving both mortal and god. Freya still denies his wish so Skarin unleashes Fenrir. Don't fuck with Skarin.

Ya I know. The story sounds as exciting as a moose pissing against the wind. The pacing and gameplay are what keeps this game going. Skarin must free three islands from the clutches of Hel. Each island follows a similar pattern. Build an army by freeing viking warriors at key locations. Along the way you collect gold, learn new abilities, and summon a dragon. In addition to raising an army each island has a stealth section, a tower to capture, and a large patrol to ambush.

When the army is ready you invade a fortified location. During this segment players charge into battle to take out key enemies and capture objective points. The dragons act as artillery fire, and can be used after collecting dragon ruins. Ruins are rewarded when the player kills giants or completes objectives. Once all the forts are conquered Skarin moves onto the next island.

Skarin controls like a bulky buff viking. He makes strong blows that hack off limbs. He has combos, counters, and magic. Special melee moves take a certain amount of stars to activate. Stars are unlocked by successfully hitting any enemy. The magic consists of fire, lightening, and ice. Just like every other game fire burns, lightening shocks, and ice freezes. Skarin can also share his magic with near by soldiers, which can be devastating during the large army campaigns.
Viking is nothing like the top hack/slash tittles (God of War, Ninja Gaiden, Bayonetta). The quick time events lack polish animation and suffers from camera jitters. I saw too often axes slamming into thin air instead of the flesh of my enemies. The sound quality is terrible. The frame rate suffers during large battles. Skarin is slow to block, and the dodge/counter move may suffer depending on the topography. The timing for combos is wonky at best, and the auto lock jumps from target to target way to easily. These annoyances, are just that, annoying. You'll find yourself displeased, but the fun factor is not diminished significantly.

Viking: Battle for Asgard is a great rental or cheap buy. It's everything that Yahtzee wanted Brutal Legend to be. An open world hack n' slash game with large armies and great visuals with no RTS features. The gameplay isn't perfect, but it's fun enough to tolerate. Same could be said for the story. There are crazy vikings, huge battles, magic, and dragons. That spells fun to Snerts, and my Snazzy Score is 3.8 out of 5.

Aliens, Predators, and Marines = Trifecta of Lame

Game: Aliens vs. Predator

System: PC, PS3, Xbox 360

Release: February 2010

Two movies captured the hearts and minds of sci-fi lovers everywhere in the 1980s without using light sabers, time travel, or Klingons. Yes I'm talking about Aliens (the second one of course) and Predator. Both these movies were very entertaining and successful, which lead to a host of crappy sequels. Eventually both series were so desperate for more films they combined the franchises into Predator vs. Aliens. This would then lead to crappy video games.

AvP has three main groups. Marines, Predators, and Aliens. Each have intertwining stories, and each have their own unique gameplay. The Marines are your typical soldier from any FPS. You are the rookie. Everyone tells you what to do, and for some reason your the only one capable of getting it done. Inserts evil corporation, guns from the Alien movies, and the usual dialogue “Oh Shit their everywhere!” to complete the package.

The Predator campaign presents the most options aka tools of destruction. All the famous weapons are present along with stealth abilities. I defiantly felt like a Predator throughout the campaign. Fighting both Aliens and Marines is remarkably different compared to the repetitive nature of the Marine and Alien sections. You also get the cool finishing moves as a Predator that reminded me of Mortal Kombat fatalities.

Story wise nothing really made sense. The Predator character is a rookie—sigh—who plays archaeologists on earth. Like all Predators they enter an area kill all life. Then to be sure everything is dead they detonate a WMD. Who needs a motive? Not Mr. Predator.

The Alien campaign is the shortest. The plot is pretty straight forward and boring. You are an Alien branded with the #6—oooooohhhhhhh. You escape. Gasp! And are contacted by your queen so she can give you objectives! Shocker! Eventually the queen dies and you replace her. The cycle of life continues!

The Alien gameplay experience is disorienting yet fun. You can cling to any surface. Swing the Aliens deadly tale, and you climb through vents like a pro. Like the Predator you get cool fatalities and plenty of Marines to disembowel. Unfortunately there are no upgrades to your abilities and objectives are simplistic. This campaign gets boring and repetitive fast.

Whenever I hear the term Predator I think of two things. Corny Arnold impersonations by drunken friends, and bad ass aliens who's only purpose in life is to “hunt” things. Apparently “hunt” is Predator slang for disembowel, dismember, or decapitate. When I hear “Alien” a host of thoughts occur because everything is a fucking alien. Just ask the folks in Arizona. Aliens vs. Predator brings about memories of crappy plot and not enough space sentient action.

The most recent video game continues that trend flawlessly. Fans of the series will enjoy the game. The rest of us will experience a mediocre FPS that fails to improve upon a ten year old system. AvP is a renter at best, and it's popularity is apparent by its lack of any significant MP community. Snerts Snazzy Score grants Aliens vs. Predator a 3.8 out of 5.

Reaching for a New Halo

Game: Halo Reach (MP Beta)

System: Xbox 360

Release: Finished Game is due Nov. 2010.


Halo has stuck to the same formula over four games. Minor adjustments and additions have occurred with each release, but the thirty seconds of fun remains the same. All Halo games consist of the following.

Grenades and melee supplement standard gunfire.
Shields regenerate.
Vehicles a plenty.
Aliens aka Covenant.
Space zombies aka Flood.
Space marines.
Campaign supports co-op, but story is meh.
Multiplayer is fun with a variety of game types.

Recently Bungie and Microsoft launched a beta multiplayer test for Halo: Reach. I have never experienced a Halo like Reach. The controls have been changed for the better. No longer will you have to remove your thumb from the right analog stick to melee. Right bumper is melee. “X” is finally reload/use. Left bumper activates armor abilities—more on that later. “B” changes grenade type, and everything else is unchanged. This minor tweak does wonders for the gameplay, and is a welcomed change to the traditional, and outdated, control scheme. Armor abilities are the most exciting addition to gameplay. Players can select between various load outs before spawning in. This dictates your weapon selection and armor ability. Four different armor abilities exist for Spartans, and two options are given to Elites. The later can utilize invisibility and a handy dodge move. The former is given sprint, armor lock, jet pack, and invisibility. Armor lock temporary makes the Spartan invincible and releases a EMP shock wave. The others are self explanatory. These new moves really spice up the battlefield, and create an extra layer of strategy to an already fantastic franchise. New moves are not the only add on for Halo Reach. Players will get to experience a variety of fresh game modes. Headhunter, for example, puts a new spin on King of the Hill and Deathmatch. Kill an opponent so they drop a skull. Turn the collected skull(s) into the nearest objective point before someone kills you. Stockpile is a capture the flag (CTF) game. Three or more flags spawn across the map. Gather up the flags and return them to your base. Keep the flags in your base until the count down is over. Rinse and repeat.

The most original Halo game type is Invasion. Spartans defend key objectives as Elites attempt to capture said objectives. Three separate zones provides different armor abilities and weapon load outs. Vehicles come into play, and up to twelve players can participate. Fans of Big Team Battles will love this new mode. ODST had me worried that Bungie's day in the sun were over. The Reach Beta has decimated those concerns. New game modes. New abilities. New maps. New weapons and more that I didn't even mention in this post. I am officially excited about Halo Reach, and if your a fan of MP FPS action so should you.

Down Down Down the Ring of Fire

Game: Dante’s Inferno

System: Xbox 360 & PS3

Release: January 2010

Dante’s Inferno is a God of War clone and proud of it. God of War is an action adventure hack/slash. Kratos is the main character, and his travels take us through all the major sites of Greek mythology. The combat helped to define a genre by including quick time events during cinematics and a solid combo system. Besides his main weapon Kratos uses magic, and he would have to solve the occasional puzzle. Replace Kratos with Dante, and Greek myth with Christian myth and you have Dante’s Inferno.

Dante’s Inferno (DI) is loosely based on the historic poem of the same name, and follows Dante’s decent into hell to save his dearest Beatrice. Unlike the poem Dante is an Italian crusader returning from the third crusades lead by Richard the Lionheart. Richard is the king that Robin Hood loves, but that is an entirely different story. Dante was a bad boy during his tour in the holy land. To show off his sins he made a tapestry and stitched the fabric to his chest. Unfortunately his wife and father wouldn’t be able to see his new found body art. They were murdered in their home, and the killer finished the job by stabbing Dante in the back.

Anyone who has played video games knows death is a joke, and DI takes that concept to heart. Apparently Dante is a super bad ass. He steals the infamous Scythe and kills Death. Not sure how a universe is suppose to go on without death, but who am I to judge? Armed with an unholy weapon Dante begins his decent into hell to save Beatrice who apparently made a deal with the devil. She bet her soul that Dante would be a good Christian during the Crusade—hahaha stupid girl. Nine circles of hell, and some obvious sequel foreshadowing, Dante absolves his sins to save his love.

Combat in DI is very similar to God of War. Dante wields the scythe mentioned above and a holy cross from his beloved Beatrice. The cross is a projectile attack, and the scythe can perform light, heavy, and throw moves. Magic is discovered in the game world—just like in GoW—or can be learned by gaining experience to purchase upgrades. Four spells can be equipped at one time, and are crucial to surviving the more difficult encounters. Dante will also find relics that enhance a wide variety of abilities. There are so many good relics that players can really customize a play through by focusing more on magic, defensive, or offensive combat.

DI has another unique feature that is not found in God of War. The upgrade system is divided into two groups unholy and holy. To level up Dante can either Punish or Absolve enemies and famous historical figures found in hell. I did enjoy absolving Atilla the Hun and damming the Queen of Troy. Unfortunately there is little incentive to punish anyone after unlocking all the unholy moves. You get more experience from absolving via a minigame, and these xp hubs do not affect the main story.
The last few things worth mentioning about DI are the art design and frame rate. The entire game runs at an average of 60fps. That is fantastic for this genre and creates smooth combat experiences. The art design is also well done. The environments are detailed and eye catching. You will never forget that you are in hell, yet each level has a distinct theme. The gluttony level has Dante traveling through demonic digestive system with vicious worms and hungry fat asses that try to eat you. The greed area has liquid hot gold to torture the damned. Visually the average enemies are nothing too special, but the numerous bosses are a hoot. The boss in the Circle of Lust has tongues for nipples, and Lucifer has cock and balls. Oh and encase you cared Satan’s package has physics.

The main campaign will take about eight hours. After completing the game a new mode called the Gates of Hell is unlocked. This is a series of challenges that were previewed in the games demo. For people who do not own a PS3, and will never own God of War III, Dante’s Inferno may be a good buy. There is plenty of fun to be had, and the art design is very appealing. I am also a history major and I thought the game captured the brutality of the crusades well. For Xbox 360 owners I’d recommend buying the game but don’t pay full price. PS3 peeps should just wait for God of War III, which is coming out in March. Snerts Snazzy Score grants Dante’s Inferno a 4 out of 5.

Batman Arkham Asylum

Game: Batman Arkham Asylum

System: PS3, Xbox 360, PC

Release: August 2009


Batman Arkham Asylum is the best Batman game in existence. Much like the Wolverine title I reviewed, this game succeeds in making the player feel like one of the worlds most famous superheroes. Batman has gadgets, he kicks ass in a fist fight, and he can lurk in the shadows to surprise enemies. What more could a fan ask for? How about having the voiceovers performed by the same cast who did the 1990’s animated series? That’s right my friends Mark Hamill is back as the Joker! This time the fight is not on the streets of Gotham. Arkham Asylum has been taken over by the Clown Prince of Crime and only Batman can stop him. Joker, however, is not alone. He has recruited some of the top super villains at Arkham. The Cape Crusader will have to deal with the likes of Killer Croc, Poison Ivy, Bane, and of course Harley Quinn. Does Batman have what it takes to save the day? Sure he does…he’s Batman! The journey, however, is the real adventure. I’m not going to spoil this plot, but trust me it fits like a glove.

To complement the fantastic story, and beautiful graphical presentation, Batman Arkham Asylum offers four major gameplay features. First up is brawling. When facing unarmed thugs Batman can throw together counters and punches for brutal combos. Land enough sequential hits and he does critical damage/special moves. The combat is very smooth and satisfying. It also gets better with more enemies. Taking on twenty guys at once is enthralling—not to mention badass!

The second major gameplay feature is stealth. Batman can’t take a bullet to the dome so when the thugs are armed he goes silent. Swinging from gargoyle to gargoyle Batman can isolate his enemies and take them out one by one. A great move is the vertical take down. Batman hangs from a gargoyle until a thug is underneath him. With the press of a button he zips down grabbing the thug. He then wraps a rope around his leg and lets him hang. There are a host of other toys/moves that help Batman isolate enemies and navigate through Arkham.

The final two features are exploration and detective work. The Riddler has hidden numerous secrets across the island. Batman will have to use all his gadgets—Batclaw, Grappling Hook, Explosive gel, etc.—to solve these riddles. To help himself out he can also turn on detective mode which highlights objects he can interact with. It also illustrates all enemies in the area, and points out vital clues to main objectives. If it wasn’t for the top notch graphical presentation I would have left detective mode on for the entire game.

What’s that? Not convinced that this is the best Batman game ever. Well Mr. you have some nerve. Ok fine. What if I tell you about challenge mode? That’s right. If you are bored with the main campaign you can take on stealth or brawler challenges. Complete them with the highest score (brawler) or fastest time (stealth) and post your victory on the leaderboards for all to see. I am hooked on the brawler challenge that sends infinite waves of thugs to take Batman down.

Batman Arkham Asylum is everything I could ask for in a Batman game. The story is just about perfect, the gameplay is smooth, and most importantly fun. The presentation is top of the line, and the challenge modes will keep on coming thanks to DLC packs. Snerts Snazzy Score grants this game a perfect score: 5 out of 5.