Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Aliens, Predators, and Marines = Trifecta of Lame

Game: Aliens vs. Predator

System: PC, PS3, Xbox 360

Release: February 2010

Two movies captured the hearts and minds of sci-fi lovers everywhere in the 1980s without using light sabers, time travel, or Klingons. Yes I'm talking about Aliens (the second one of course) and Predator. Both these movies were very entertaining and successful, which lead to a host of crappy sequels. Eventually both series were so desperate for more films they combined the franchises into Predator vs. Aliens. This would then lead to crappy video games.

AvP has three main groups. Marines, Predators, and Aliens. Each have intertwining stories, and each have their own unique gameplay. The Marines are your typical soldier from any FPS. You are the rookie. Everyone tells you what to do, and for some reason your the only one capable of getting it done. Inserts evil corporation, guns from the Alien movies, and the usual dialogue “Oh Shit their everywhere!” to complete the package.

The Predator campaign presents the most options aka tools of destruction. All the famous weapons are present along with stealth abilities. I defiantly felt like a Predator throughout the campaign. Fighting both Aliens and Marines is remarkably different compared to the repetitive nature of the Marine and Alien sections. You also get the cool finishing moves as a Predator that reminded me of Mortal Kombat fatalities.

Story wise nothing really made sense. The Predator character is a rookie—sigh—who plays archaeologists on earth. Like all Predators they enter an area kill all life. Then to be sure everything is dead they detonate a WMD. Who needs a motive? Not Mr. Predator.

The Alien campaign is the shortest. The plot is pretty straight forward and boring. You are an Alien branded with the #6—oooooohhhhhhh. You escape. Gasp! And are contacted by your queen so she can give you objectives! Shocker! Eventually the queen dies and you replace her. The cycle of life continues!

The Alien gameplay experience is disorienting yet fun. You can cling to any surface. Swing the Aliens deadly tale, and you climb through vents like a pro. Like the Predator you get cool fatalities and plenty of Marines to disembowel. Unfortunately there are no upgrades to your abilities and objectives are simplistic. This campaign gets boring and repetitive fast.

Whenever I hear the term Predator I think of two things. Corny Arnold impersonations by drunken friends, and bad ass aliens who's only purpose in life is to “hunt” things. Apparently “hunt” is Predator slang for disembowel, dismember, or decapitate. When I hear “Alien” a host of thoughts occur because everything is a fucking alien. Just ask the folks in Arizona. Aliens vs. Predator brings about memories of crappy plot and not enough space sentient action.

The most recent video game continues that trend flawlessly. Fans of the series will enjoy the game. The rest of us will experience a mediocre FPS that fails to improve upon a ten year old system. AvP is a renter at best, and it's popularity is apparent by its lack of any significant MP community. Snerts Snazzy Score grants Aliens vs. Predator a 3.8 out of 5.

No comments: