I'm a Jumper Not a Fighter

Game: Prince of Persia

System: Xbox 360, PS3, PC

Release: December 2008


Prince of Persia is a franchise that dates back to 1989. A successful reboot of the series was accomplished by Ubisoft in 2003 with Sands of Time. That fantastic game is one of the best experiences available on the original Xbox, and Ubisoft has been attempting to capture that magic with a slew of crappy sequels.

Each Prince of Persia has the same set up. The main character is a prince with amazing acrobatic abilities. This triple AAA protagonist always seems to find himself in deadly scenarios that may or may not involve a female side kick, time manipulation, and magical villains. He will generally jump, skip, and stab his way through each adventure. The plot will either be brilliant yet generic or simply ridiculous.

The 2008 Prince of Persia (there has been a more recent release and movie earlier this year) attempts to reboot the series once more. The Prince finds himself lost in a desert. Surprise surprise a damsel in distress appears named Elika. He rescues her from some attackers, and discovers that she has magical powers. Elika pleads her case and seeks aide in restoring her kingdom that has been taken over by “the corruption.” A handful of jumps, skips, and stabs later the game ends.

I could go on about the crappy plot. How you never really care about anything, and just push on to jump and skip (stabbing is boring) to the next piece of beautiful landscape. Or how Elika shows a range of emotion akin to a fourteen year old drama queen. Or how I have never seen anything remotely close to Persian culture in regards to the characters. I could go on about all that, but that would just be silly.

Gameplay is where the fun is for Prince of Persia. Like Sands of Time the Prince performs a variety of acrobatic moves to navigate through deadly traps. Instead of time manipulation Elika provides a magical safety net to ensure the Prince never dies. This allows players to continue playing. A novel concept for video games. The designers knew that people would fail to make a particular jump so they put in a system to instantly warp them to a checkpoint. No load screens is a huge plus for any game, but especially for a tittle that is dependent on a smooth constant tempo.

Level design is what I would expect from the franchise. The Prince goes up. He goes down. He slides, dives, wall runs, and swings his way about. The graphical presentation is eye popping in a gorgeous cell shaded style. Levels are a bit more repetitive then other Prince of Persia games because of the overall path design. Players can go to any area from the start, which results in a bland difficulty curve. Rising action/challenge would have suited this game better.

Combat is not the strongest point for any Prince of Persia game, and the 2008 addition manages to be even more bland then past releases. You cannot die so no enemy is ever threatening. The combos are entertaining at first, but get old fast. Low level enemies have too little health, and boss fights drag on too long. Fighting is the most boring aspect of this game. Hardcore fans of the hack/slash genre are sure to be disappointed.

Prince of Persia is not a bad game, but does fall under that “Thank Goodness for Gamefly” category. Fans of the series and platforming will enjoy another adventure with the prince of jumps, skips, and stabs--even if the stabs are lackluster. Combat is boring, and the story stinks. Yet the presentations is stylistic and beautiful. The pacing is excellent thanks to the absence of load screens, and exploring this fantasy world is it’s own reward. Snerts Snazzy Score grants the 2008 Prince of Persia a 3.5 out of 5.

Late to the Fallout 3 Party

Game: Fallout 3

System: PS3, Xbox 360, PC

Release: October 2008


Fallout 3 is a great video game. Anyone who is a fan of the FPS or RPG genre will enjoy themselves. The game has been out for about two years. It has won many awards, and there are a ton of DLC packs. I'm not going to bother typing out words to praise the game further. Snerts Snazzy Score is a 5 out of 5, but I do have one complaint.

*Spoiler Alert:

Two of the best features Fallout 3 has to offer are story and immersion. You start off in your mothers womb, and finish following in your fathers footsteps (for those goodie goodies out there). The game world is huge, and I spent countless hours just exploring. In the end you have the cliche choice to sacrifice yourself, or convince someone else to do the deathly deed.

To purify post apocalyptic D.C.'s toxic water supply, save the lives of your comrades, and be an all round good dude you must enter a room containing lethal amounts of radiation. No matter what you do this act will kill you. I wouldn't have a problem with this deed if I wasn't traveling with a companion who could have withstood the radiation.
A few missions prior an intelligent Super Mutant named Fawkes aides you in a primary quest. The player is later given the option to have Fawkes accompany you on your journey. Fawkes is immune to radiation. If you do not have the DLC pack Brotherhood Steel, then you will not be able to convince Fawke to enter the radiated room.

This did not make sense, and ruined the ending of an otherwise fantastic story.

Doing What Vikings Do Best...Conquer!

Game: Viking Battle for Asgard

System: Xbox 360, PS3

Release: March 2008



Viking: Battle for Asgard is a game found in bargain bins priced under twenty bucks American. It did not sell well, and probably flew under the radar for many gamers. Now during the summer lull is a perfect time to revisit this open world hack n' slash game. It's cheap, and there is plenty of fun to be had.

Viking embraces Norse mythology for the setting and plot. The gods of Asgard are bickering, and of course mortals have to pay. The goddess Hel is pissed about her banishment. She raises an army of demons, and threatens to unleash the ancient god Fenrir. Why Fenrir? Cause he will bring about the apocalypse, or Ragnarok, that destroys Asgard.

Freya, the goddess of war, selects the main character Skarin as her mortal champion. Skarin's only desire is to be allowed entrance into Valhalla. (SPOILER) He defeats the Hel and her armies saving both mortal and god. Freya still denies his wish so Skarin unleashes Fenrir. Don't fuck with Skarin.

Ya I know. The story sounds as exciting as a moose pissing against the wind. The pacing and gameplay are what keeps this game going. Skarin must free three islands from the clutches of Hel. Each island follows a similar pattern. Build an army by freeing viking warriors at key locations. Along the way you collect gold, learn new abilities, and summon a dragon. In addition to raising an army each island has a stealth section, a tower to capture, and a large patrol to ambush.

When the army is ready you invade a fortified location. During this segment players charge into battle to take out key enemies and capture objective points. The dragons act as artillery fire, and can be used after collecting dragon ruins. Ruins are rewarded when the player kills giants or completes objectives. Once all the forts are conquered Skarin moves onto the next island.

Skarin controls like a bulky buff viking. He makes strong blows that hack off limbs. He has combos, counters, and magic. Special melee moves take a certain amount of stars to activate. Stars are unlocked by successfully hitting any enemy. The magic consists of fire, lightening, and ice. Just like every other game fire burns, lightening shocks, and ice freezes. Skarin can also share his magic with near by soldiers, which can be devastating during the large army campaigns.
Viking is nothing like the top hack/slash tittles (God of War, Ninja Gaiden, Bayonetta). The quick time events lack polish animation and suffers from camera jitters. I saw too often axes slamming into thin air instead of the flesh of my enemies. The sound quality is terrible. The frame rate suffers during large battles. Skarin is slow to block, and the dodge/counter move may suffer depending on the topography. The timing for combos is wonky at best, and the auto lock jumps from target to target way to easily. These annoyances, are just that, annoying. You'll find yourself displeased, but the fun factor is not diminished significantly.

Viking: Battle for Asgard is a great rental or cheap buy. It's everything that Yahtzee wanted Brutal Legend to be. An open world hack n' slash game with large armies and great visuals with no RTS features. The gameplay isn't perfect, but it's fun enough to tolerate. Same could be said for the story. There are crazy vikings, huge battles, magic, and dragons. That spells fun to Snerts, and my Snazzy Score is 3.8 out of 5.